My Breast Cancer Story
For me, October is a month filled with mixed emotions. I guess I’m considered a survivor, although I feel like my cancer story is just a small part of the chaos that was 2020. It was almost like it was just one more thing to deal with in the height of the pandemic, not its very own experience. And I get that’s how it is for a lot of people, even outside a pandemic - we have to live our lives while having this secondary experience of dealing with the “C” word.
I didn’t share my story early on because I didn’t want to worry people. There was enough going on at that time, I just didn’t want to add to it for others. I had my close circle of friends and family to lean on, and that was enough for me.
Then, afterward, I still was reluctant to share because I knew it could freak people out. If it happened to me - someone who eats well, drinks enough water, exercises, meditates, is very careful about what goes on my skin…well, then, it could happen to anyone. That was the hardest part. I felt kinda like a failure. But now I’m ready to share, in the hopes that it is somehow helpful.
I was diagnosed with DCIS in late 2019. It’s typically a slower growing cancer, and used to be a “wait and watch” type diagnosis. Being self-employed and therefore having high-deductible insurance, I chose to wait for treatment (surgery) until the new year. During that time, I ate well, exercised, meditated and did everything I could to keep myself healthy. Oh, and I was also doing all the work to move the clinic from a little 3-room spot to the beautiful space we have now. You know, managing the build out, arranging equipment delivery, purchasing the sauna, making a gajillion decisions...just a few little things. 🙂
The new year rolls around, we get moved in and I turn my focus to getting treatment for the cancer. Mammograms, ultrasounds, MRIs - just trying to get the best picture of what I should do. Around this time, you may remember, there were murmurings of this little virus that had come on the scene. I honestly wasn’t too concerned - I had watched the first SARS outbreak and it didn’t get as far as Colorado. Ha!
Long story short, I managed to get a mastectomy scheduled for June - right after reopening the clinic from the two month shut down. I had to quarantine for 10 days before the surgery, and then I was supposed to take another 6 weeks off afterward. I took 3. I didn’t come back full time, but I was able to work and it felt good to get back to a “normal” life.
I was lucky, though. With the type of cancer I had, the mastectomy was all I had to go through. I chose reconstruction as well, which honestly wasn’t the boob job I was hoping for. 😂 But, all in all, my treatment was straightforward and simple.
The one major lesson I learned from the experience, though, was how to ask for and accept help. I’m not so good at that, you see. From an early age (just ask my parents) I was an “I’ll just do it myself” kind of girl. But sometimes you are handed a situation where you have no choice. So I accepted home cooked meals. I accepted stories and advice from my “boob mentors,” Erin and Libby (friends who had done this before me). I asked my childhood best friend, Christie, to come and stay with us during my recovery period to help take care of my 4-year-old. I just accepted, and tried to forget my need to reciprocate. And it was beautiful. And, of course, there was the love and support from my family and friends that I didn’t even have to ask for. 💗
Why am I sharing this? I don’t even know. Maybe to let you know that nobody is perfectly healthy. Maybe to remind you that asking for and receiving help is beautiful. Maybe to show that we don’t always know what someone is going through. Maybe I just needed to get it out.
October is breast cancer awareness month to help keep it top of mind, but for some of us it’s not something that we ever forget about.
